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| After 2 years of terrible luck with dating...I finally met a really nice guy. I'm so excited. I used the ebook to dump the cheat I had last year and these awesome love crystals to attract a great love interest. thax! ---
sarah , United States |
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| Taking Charge of Your Life
How do you live your life? At cause or at effect? It is important to be aware of this distinction. It is the rare individual who always lives his or her life at cause; however, far too many of us live a large portion of our lives at effect - responding to the whims, desires or emotional states of others.
Being at cause means that you are decisive in creating what you want in life and take responsibility for whatever you achieve. You see the world as a place of opportunity and you move toward achieving what you desire. If things are not unfolding as you would like, you take action and explore other possibilities. Above all, you know you have choice in what you do and how you react to people and events.
If you are at effect, you may blame others or circumstances for your bad moods, for what you have not achieved or for the disarray of your life in general. You may feel powerless or depend on others in order for you to feel good about yourself or about life. You may think, "If only my spouse, my boss, my co-workers, my parents, my children understood me and helped me achieve my dreams or did what I wanted or what is best for me, then life would be great." If you wait and hope for things to be different or for others to provide you with results or happiness, you are at effect, or a victim of circumstances. And really, how satisfying is that? How satisfying do you think it is for others to be around you? Believing that someone else is responsible for your happiness or your different moods is very limiting and gives this person mystical powers over you, which can cause both you and the other person a great deal of anguish.
Being at cause means you have choices in your life - you can choose what is best for you while ensuring the choice is ecological for those around you, in your community and your society. That is, you consider the consequences of your actions on others, while not taking responsibility for their emotional well-being. Believing you are responsible for the emotional well-being of someone else places a heavy burden upon you and can cause a great deal of stress.
Those who live their lives at effect often see themselves as victims with no choices whatsoever. The truth is that they do have choices but have chosen not to take action. They are simply reactive to whatever is thrust upon them.
Emotions such as guilt, fear, anxiety and resentment are the result of being at effect. People at effect tend to blame others and do not take responsibility for their actions. Emotions such as these can wear heavily on a person's body and life, and can be the root cause of many physical and personal issues.
Do I always live my life at cause? No, not a chance; the great majority of the time I do live at cause. When I don't, one of the following usually comes to mind: There is no failure only feedback' or There are no unresourceful people, only unresourceful states'. Then using various personal growth techniques, such as those from NLP (neurolinguistic programming), I am able to explore other ways to achieve my outcomes or ask others for help, without being a victim to their answers.
Each morning when you get up, you can either ask yourself, "I wonder what my day will bring," or "What do I choose to bring to my day?" The choice is yours.
About the Author: Roger Ellerton is a certified NLP trainer, certified management consultant and the founder and managing partner of Renewal Technologies Inc. (www.renewal.ca) This article is an extract from his book Live Your Dreams - Let Reality Catch Up: NLP and Common Sense for Coaches, Managers and You (www.live-your-dreams.biz).
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| Stress - Control It, Change It or Let It Go!
Have you ever tried to control other people? Who gets stressed out? Have you ever tried to control things or events over which you had no control? Do you find that stressful?
There are different typed of stressful situations. Some, like people interrupting you all the time, you can control. You can let the interrupters know you are busy and don't have time to talk.
Other stresses, like rush hour traffic, are usually beyond your control. But there are some things about rush hour traffic that you can personally change which may help; taking a different route, for example, or traveling at a different time. Of course, these changes are not always possible. In that case, you have to change your attitude about the situation, in order to lessen the stress. You can listen to music or educational tapes or books-on-tape. Rush hour traffic won't seem as frustrating because you'll be doing something to help keep your mind off the traffic and other drivers. In order to let go of commute stress, you have to accept the situation. You must accept that you cannot control the traffic, no matter how much you yell and gesture at other drivers to speed up. A stressful commute can ruin your whole day, don't let it! Accept that, if you are unable to change your route, or your time of travel, you are powerless over everything on the road, with the exception of your car and your attitude. Control your attitude, let go of the traffic, and you can control your stress!
You can learn to manage a great deal of your stress by asking looking at each stressor and asking yourself "Can I control it, can I change it, or do I need to learn to let it go?
The "control, change, or let go" concept is an important key to stress management. We spend too much time worrying about things over which we have no control that we have no energy left to control the things we can. We become so overwhelmed, that we feel like our whole life is out of control and we'll never catch up. Once you understand the "control, change, or let go" concept and start putting it into practice you will be able to deal much better with stressful situations.
So much of our stress comes from trying to control other people, places and things when we simply cannot. We are the ones who end up with the stress and resulting headaches! The people we try to control go home, or simply ignore us, barely giving us a thought. That's why it is so easy to build up resentments against other people in situations or jobs when we don't think we have much control. On the job, it impedes productivity and healthy teamwork. People tend to blame other people. If you are stressed out because of others, it's important to go through the steps of control, change and letting go. Unless you are ready to leave your job, family, or the planet earth, chances are you will continue working or being around the "stressful people." Ask yourself if the other person is actually a "stress carrier," or simply has a different style.
Letting go is a process. It takes time, and doesn't always happen at once just because we will it. We have to use our thoughts to control our emotions and our actions. Remind yourself that there are people and events you cannot control. All you can control is your attitude and your reactions. It's possible to change yourself-talk about the situation. Identify which stresses you can control, take appropriate action, and learn to let go of the things you can't.
Pick something in your life that stresses you out. Can you control it? If so, what can you do? Can you change it? If so, how? Perhaps you can only change or control a part of it. Do you need to let it go? If so, what can you do in order to let go?
You can view life as unexpected and exciting or your can view it as scary because you don't know what the future holds. Take charge; take control or let it go. The choice is yours!
Simma Lieberman is a consultant, speaker and author. She works with organizations to create environments where people can do their best work. Contact Simma at (510)-527-0700 to discuss how she can help you and the people in your organization break the stress cycle and develop a more balanced life. Visit her website at http://www.simmalieberman.com and subscribe for free monthly newsletter.
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Fighting with Depression
Depression is a medical
condition, which cannot be ignored, and it has to be considered
seriously. It is caused due to chemical changes and imbalances in the brain.
These changes may be caused due to several factors. Many people may not
know the actual reason for depression. Depression can be debilitating
but now treatment is available to cope up with this condition. It has
to be diagnosed properly in the initial stages. These treatments help
to stabilize the chemical imbalances in the brain and makes sure that
the brain functions normally. In order to fight against depression you
need to find out the reason for it and understand how it affects your
normal life. Then you can go for the different treatment methods that
are available nowadays and select the one, which suits and treats the
condition, the best.
There are different approaches for treatment of depression like medications, psychotherapy, talk therapy, meditation, Aromatherapy
etc. The common symptom seen in a person suffering from depression are
feelings of hopelessness, suicidal thoughts, loss of appetite, weight loss,
feelings of sadness, extreme pessimism, lack of sleep, loss of interest
in activities, feelings of loneliness and sadness etc. Depression can
also cause severe mood disorders. Some women suffer from depression
during the post partum period. They will not be able to bond with the
new born baby. They have to be treated with the help of the doctor. They need support and medical attention to overcome this phase. Another
type of depression is the bipolar disorder where the patient suffers
from extreme mood swings such as intense highs and crippling lows. For
them life seems to be a roller coaster ride. There are several
medications available to treat such conditions. Depression can be
managed just like any other medical disorder of the body like diabetes,
high blood pressure etc. All that you need is the positive attitude and
the will power and determination to fight it. Besides medications you
can also choose different holistic approaches to fight depression. You
can join some activities such as a laughter club, where you can divert
your mind and get your mind involved in some soothing activities.
Sometimes you may have to change your entire life style or move to a
different place in order to fight out depression. You cannot expect a
change overnight but with course of time, and the right type of
treatment you can fight depression and get it out of your life.
Symptoms of depression may be aggravated due to teenage problems such
as acne, use of drugs, loss of job, loss of loved ones, etc.
In
order to fight depression, you need to understand the basic cause or
reason, which has triggered such a condition. Once you find out the
reason, then find out effective options for solving this problem. You
must always keep in mind that will power or the power of mind is very
important to fight out depression. Positive thinking can help you to
fight out depression without any medical support. You can fight out depression by clearing your mind and empowering it with positive thought or affirmations.
Tania recommends you to see depression symptoms and medication -
http://www.depression-doctor.com/, ayurvedic treatment of insomnia -
http://www.ayurvedic-medicines.com/insomnia.html and vitamins for
depression- http://www.vitaminsdiary.com/depression.htm .
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